ZOETRY CURACAO RESORT & SPA

Starting with the good bits. The grounds are stunning, really green and lush, proper tropical feel to the whole place. We loved wandering round in the evenings. The dining staff could not have been nicer, every single one of them, and the food is good when they actually have what's on the menu. That last bit is the problem. Over the course of our stay we kept running into things that were advertised and then just weren't available, and at these prices that gets a bit hard to swallow. Room service is meant to be 24 hours. We ordered one night at 10:45 and were told half an hour. At 11:45pm we rang to chase it and were told they were still looking into it. Rang again a bit later, same story. In the end they told us it couldn't be done at all as there were no cooks available. So almost two hours of sitting about waiting and nothing to show for it, and we had to find that out ourselves rather than anyone bothering to ring us. Breakfast at Bloom has a specials menu with a different dish each day of the week. I'd had my eye on the chicken and waffles on Monday all week. Turned up, ordered it, and was told they didn't have it due to "some issues". It wasn't a one off either, a few things were off at dinner on other nights as well. If you're going to print a specials menu you need to be able to actually do the specials. They also offer golf carts over to the sister hotels, which is sold as one of the perks of the group. When we wanted to pop over to Dreams there weren't any available, there or back. I don't want to be unkind about it. The stay wasn’t awful and I think the staff are doing their best with what they've got. But Zoëtry sells itself as a top end resort and the rates reflect that. When the kitchen can't produce its own menu and the basics keep falling over, you do start to wonder what exactly you're paying for. Would I go back? Unlikely, and if so Not at this price though. A beautiful hotel that's being let down by how it's run.

The room was amazingly dark, quiet, and cool for a fantastic sleep experience. Staff were great and responsive. If you enjoy birds, there are so many given the lush trees surrounding the property. The pool is next to the main road so it can get loud from the large trucks passing, but we heard nothing inside our room. Massage was great.

The food was great, the pools were great! The food service was great. The room was not great. While pretty, it was the loudest room I’ve ever been in. We were given a room that faced onto the parking lot. All night we heard what sounded like cars racing in the parking lot. Also, the hotel was nice enough to call us a cab that quoted us $30 to go to the airport, not the hotels fault but the driver made us pay $60. I said that’s not what I was told, he said that is what the hotel agreed. Good thing I had cash.

Excellent escape location. Rooms are excellent, and the setting is quiet. No children, no noise, very relaxing. Bar service is excellent. Food service is TOO relaxed. Average meal setting 2.5 hours. Lack of seating capacity. Food is served room temperature. Strongly recommend driving into town for real restaurants, even though the resort charges for all-inclusive meals.

ur resort stay was honestly disappointing overall. The food quality was poor and could have been much better, especially for a resort experience. I also booked a spa massage expecting a relaxing experience, but unfortunately, it wasn’t very impressive. One of my biggest concerns was the restroom. The toilet water had an unpleasant smell every single day of our stay, which made the bathroom experience uncomfortable and should have been addressed by the resort. The best parts of the stay were definitely the pool and beach areas. Those were enjoyable and helped make the experience a little better. Overall, the resort has potential, but the food quality, spa services, and restroom maintenance need significant improvement. Based on my experience, I expected more and left feeling underwhelmed.